Source: www.weheartit.com
Can you understand the struggle of looking at something that touches almost everyone's heart yet feeling totally nothing? I know it sounds crazy, but it's true for some people. And I'm one of them. I'm one of those people who experience the struggle of using too much capacity of their head.
People think we're cool and awesome for being able to come up with reasons behind everything we do, but they don't understand our desire of wanting so much to feel deep within something without having to stick to the sense of logicality. I walk every single step every day wondering whether or not I will be able to feel just as much as those people who use their heart do. Is this what it's like to be an emotionless person?
I'm surrounded by people who have got their heart broken, and all I can do is trying to explain them why they shouldn't be sad, but I guess that is not enough because I wish I could feel what they feel. I want to know why people get so broken that they cannot even move on. I want to know why people love too much that they would even die for a person. I guess I'm being too demanding, but can't I just use my head and my heart at the same time?
Sometimes, it scares me just how selfish I can become, just how many people I leave behind, just how many hearts I break. This might sound weird to you, but I, too, want to find it hard to move on. I, too, want to know how it feels to hold onto something so hard that you find it impossible to let go. I despise myself for leaving people behind just to go after my own dream. I hate the fact that I can never give people love as much as they want me to coz at the end of the day, it will always be me and my life and no one else.
It's never a beautiful thing to be called the woman with the heart of steel, but it's undeniable because the truth remains true, and I have to accept it no matter how much I wish I didn't have to. It's not bad to be strong, but being strong in the middle of broken people is scary, and that's when I want most just to hug them and sincerely state something that I can never speak up: 'I FEEL YOU.'
